Deaths
I lost 3 of my old patients this week. One liver cirrhosis who was referred to higher center died in another hospital, one renal carcinoma, diabetic patient died at home and one lupus cardiac patient who died in the ICU. It's so stressful caring for these patients especially those terminal and toxic cases I always get while working at the ICU. In the case of my lupus patient who had been under my service for the last 3 years, caring for her in her last days took such a toll on me. She was still too young to die but I think she had suffered enough with her illness. What made it more difficult for me was the fact that she had gotten close to me, or rather as close as I let my patients get. When I first saw her, I knew I was in for a difficult time. I felt very happy everytime I was able to discharge her from the ICU in the course of her many admissions. But as the years passed her condition steadily deteriorated and I found myself praying she wouldn't suffer too much when she die...